So you wanna be my Mystery Hostess?

This September, I'm doing something a bit different with my business venture. When you get a moment, visit Life with the Diva's sister site SpiritedMoms for more details.

Almost Wordless Wednesday: Dog + Red Ink + Beige Carpet=Animal Protection

I went into the kitchen for a bit, while I was there Mr. Yappy decided to jump on my coffee table to chew up the red ink pen I had laying there. Once I returned to the den and discovered the mishap I got out some "Oxy-type" spray and began to scrub. Apparently that was the wrong thing to do.  I Googled, and they suggested blotting the stain with rubbing alcohol, so I did that and the stain came out perfectly except....

This is what happened to the area surrounding it:

Closer...

further away...

Any suggestions as to how to fix this?

Note: No animals were harmed during or after this fiasco. {Although I thought I'd need a witness protection-like program for animals for when the Mr. arrived}

Deaf? Want Taco Bell? You're Order May be Refused at the Window

Shaken, ticked off & sad is where my most recent trip to Taco Bell left me. I haven't been feeling well at all this weekend, my latest Fibromyalgia flare began late Friday night. I ran to the store today just to grab a few things quickly, and decided to stop at a near by Taco Bell on the way home. I didn't have The Mister with me, so I quickly jotted down my order, and pulled into the drive thru. There was no one else there so I figured this should be quick and painless.

As I pulled up the attendant began with the usual welcoming spill, I waited until she stopped speaking then politely said, "Hi I'm gonna pull up to the window to place my order." The attendant said "no", I'd have to place my order there at the speaker. I then mentioned to her that I am deaf, and would need to place it at the window. She then told me that I either place it at the speaker or come inside. I drove away.

Out of all the chains that I've visited over the past 3 1/2 years since my deafness, I have NEVER had someone refuse to take my order. When I'm alone, or even just with the kids, it helps a great deal to be able to read the lips of the attendant as they take my order. I don't need a loud volume, I need clarity and lip reading along with my hearing aid is how I get it. My first ASL instructor gave me the tip of writing down my order, as this can eliminate the need for order call backs.

Do I feel discriminated against? Absolutely. Hearing customers have the opportunity to use drive thru, why not me. A hearing adult isn't always going to accompany me, and shouldn't have to. I AM CAPABLE. I have a chronic pain disorder that is flared up at the time, so coming inside wasn't gonna happen, and should not have been necessary anyway. I reported the incident to Taco Bell, and will await there reply.

You Love, who you Love: Learning to not Take it Personal

I haven't mentioned this to very many people, but  a very close loved one of mine was diagnosed with Bipolar a few years ago. When I was informed, I went into "fix it" mode. I rushed to the bookstore and purchased Loving someone with Bipolar Disorder and also Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder: A 4-Step Plan for You and Your Loved Ones to Manage the Illness and Create Lasting Stability. I was set! Suprisingly the family member was very receptive towards the book. I read the one I purchased for myself every chance I got. Did I say I was set? Well at least I thought that I was, until the family member began to use the book against me. Everytime they came out of pocket, they blamed it on something in the book.  Don't get me wrong those books are both really great tools, used in the right context.

But check it...

You act a "starnated fool" (as my Great Grandmother calls it), with no regard to location or bystanders, then say; "It's in the book" when your done? Really??  Or maybe it's when you ask for help, and at the same time shoot it down before it's even carried out.

I'm all about being patient, I'm all for acceptance & understanding, but give a Sista a break...Sheesh. Do I think that they LIVE to make me or themselves completely miserable at times? No. Do I doubt that their love for me & other family members is genuine? No. Do I have difficulty coping with this when there is an episode in full force...being the sole caregiver? Abosolutely! I have kids, I'm still trying to figure out the ins & outs of deafness, and I haven't even began to break the code on living with Fibromyalgia.

Here are a few resources I found to help me not run walk away with my heart feeling so heavy:

Do's and Don'ts When Supporting Someone with Bipolar

For thoses of you who are married to someone with Bipolar- Spouses of Bipolar Sufferers ...The Other Half

This can be used in any situation- The Help Resisters

And lastly the 10 Tips for Family Caregivers:

• Choose to take charge of your life, and don't let your loved one's illness or disability always take center stage.

• Remember to be good to yourself. Love, honor and value yourself. You're doing a very hard job and you deserve some quality time, just for you.

• Watch out for signs of depression, and don't delay in getting professional help when you need it.

• When people offer to help, accept the offer and suggest specific things that they can do.

• Educate yourself about your loved one's condition. Information is empowering.

• There's a difference between caring and doing. Be open to technologies and ideas that promote your loved one's independence.

• Trust your instincts. Most of the time they'll lead you in the right direction.

• Grieve for your losses, and then allow yourself to dream new dreams.

• Stand up for your rights as a caregiver and a citizen.

• Seek support from other caregivers. There is great strength in knowing you are not alone.

Contributed by the National Family Caregivers Association , but found at Family Caregiving 101




Photo Credit: Hapekla

I heart breastfeeding! My Story: Part Two

As World Breastfeeding Week comes to a close, here is part two of my breastfeeding journey...


Already beginning to feel defeated on my own, the "formula feeding cheerleaders" in my life, made it even harder to stick it out. One evening, I decided to get a notebook and make a schedule. I broke out my pump, read how to use it, and tested it as she napped. My schedule consisted of pumping time & feeding time. I decided to give myself a break from the frustration I was feeling from feeding from the breast directly.

During the day, I would pump both sides, feed her the milk from one and save the other. In the evenings, I fed her the ones that I had saved from the daytime pumping sessions, and pumped every few hours at night, to use that milk for the next day. It was like clock work. I did this for almost 3 months.

One evening though, as she had finished her bottle, there was no one in her nursery but the two of us. I looked Twinkle in her big brown eyes, and told her that this was not what I imagined our nursing experience to be. I told her that I was getting tired, but I really wanted this to work. As she looked back at me I said, "I really don't want to give up on us, if you would...please help me out." As I rocked in the chair with her, I decided to attempted to put her to breast. Before I did though, I said a little prayer. I asked God to please help us, Twinkle was our last baby and I knew that I would never get the chance again.

As I pulled her in close to me, without a single bit of trouble, she latched right on. I can not tell you how happy I was for her, for myself and for the rest of our family, because now they could have me back! Twinkle and I happily nursed all the way through her first years :~)  (click here if you missed part one of our story)




Don't forget, the month of August is National Breastfeeding Month, so go on over to The Soul Mom, and get your I heart breastfeeding badge!